For some reason I am feeling very ominous about this last blog, like it is the end of something bigger than myself and I will miss it.  I really have no idea what this blog is going to end up saying but I'm going with it.  I wish that my blogs could have been more politically thematic but this semester took me for a wild ride that I never anticipated.     

I guess that I needed a reality check.  Law School seemed like a far reach but I did not think that my verbal rejection would be so soon.  I've never been a stellar student but I thought that if I put my heart into it and worked hard enough I could get in.  I'll never know if I really wanted to go to Law School or if I really wanted to prove something to the world.  Being told that I could not accomplish a goal was worse than a slap in the face, all of my hard work was diminished in seconds and I felt my heart drop.  I know it sounds dramatic but it is completely true.  At this point, I don't really know what I want to do.  I have said it before but this scares me a lot. I pray that a year from now I'll know where I am headed and be more focused than I am right now.  I am mad at myself for this semester but I can't take it back and all I can do is learn from it.  Thankfully I have a truly amazing professor who was able to give me the words of wisdom that I needed at the right time. More professors should follow in her footsteps and be more concerned with educating and preparing their students for reality rather than complaining about the budget cuts. 

Law may not be the profession for me.  Just like I will never be happy with my jeans size, and I'll always want to fit into the jeans that are two sizes too small for me, Law may just not fit me and I can't force it.  This should not be a determinant of my worth or success.  I am determined to believe that I can still be a success without Law School.  So many people in the law profession are wiseacre's.  They think that they are incredible just because they are attorney's and make great money.  I am not a competitive person and am not full of myself in the least bit.  

I can not keep living my life as one big kerfuffle and hopefully next year I will be in a better, more organized place.  

Wiseacre:  A person regarded as being disagreeably egotistical and self-assured.

Kerfuffle:  Disturbance, mess.